"Time is short, my strength is limited, the office is a horror, the apartment is noisy, and if a pleasant, straightforward life is not possible, then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres."
Franz Kafka, Diaries, 1910-1923 (published posthumously)
Dear friends,
At 3.31 am last night, I finished editing 3881 photos shot during the Centenary of Berlin’s S-Bahn this week.
It’s been a bonkers work period leaving little time for the pursuits of my creative life.
There is a profound disparity between the innumerable voices on YouTube barking that you “have to get at it every day!” and the human reality that most of us are trying to pursue our dreams while contending with the demands of reality.
To keep what you love going, as Kafka writes, we have to wriggle through by subtle maneuvers.
While “consistency is key!” is packaged as a divine revelation — rather than the mind-bogglingly obvious platitude it is — what is less discussed is that our pursuits must be stolen from fractured corners, blunt compromises and unforgiving chance.
For many people, there is a diametric opposite between what we have to do and what we want to do.
Personally, I am one of the luckiest in this regard because I love my work in film and photography. Even when it pulls me away from keeping up with my own pursuits, it sharpens my creative blade, draws me into the stories of others, and offers relief when I’m in a period of torment on a personal project.
Yet time exists. We only have a certain amount of it, and within those hours, we have limited energy.
To keep things going, sometimes consistency has no relevance whatsoever. Instead, we need Kafka’s ability to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres.
Yes, I aspire to consistency.
But what's more useful is knowing how to return when it breaks.
I've found that getting things done in the corners matters more than consistency itself.
You have to find a way.
Scrappy. Dogged. Dirty.
Normal life plays with those trying to keep consistent like the gods torturing poor old Prometheus after he steals their fire.
The only real consistency you can rely on is that they will keep coming back to pinch it!
Two short examples of how I wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres.
First, with my piano playing.
After twenty years, I finally started during the pandemic. Since then, life has repeatedly gotten in the way. Suddenly, months pass without touching the piano, and I berate myself. Why? Because it feels like starting over each time. But what truly matters is picking up the thread again. Often, it’s not the process we resist but the act of starting again. After my latest pause, I got back in the saddle and faced the keys. Instead of learning new pieces, I focused on the three I’ve been wrestling with since the beginning:
Saman by Olafur Arnaulds
White Keys by Chilly Gonzalez
Comptine d’un autre éte, I’après-midi by Yann Tiersen
Yesterday, I squeezed in half an hour while trying to meet my editing deadline - and discovered I was playing each better than I had done before. I’d wriggled through with subtle manoeuvres.
What has helped me learn is to try to remove my ego from the process.
Yes, I would like to play the piano one day on the stage. Yes, it helps as a driver. But my principle motivation is that this is something I do for myself.
Just to improve, that is joy; that is enough.
Why not stop berating yourself and lightheartedly pick up the thread?
The second is with my podcast.
It’s a labour of love often thwarted by life’s demands. Earlier this year, I nearly shelved it, thinking it was one thing too many. But then it struck me that the only reason I was considering dropping it was because I had made myself a slave to someone else’s notion of consistency.
Yes, something had to give, but I didn’t have to give it up.
I had already done the hard work:
learning to podcast
setting it up
conducting interviews
More importantly, I loved it—the conversations, the people, and the exchange of ideas. I had to embrace my own vision of a podcast, not someone else’s.
So, I began creating when I could and allowed myself to experiment. This week, I published my twenty-third episode, just over a year since I started. I’ve managed to wriggle through with subtle manoeuvres!
My takeaways:
Life will inevitably interfere with your dreams and passion projects. Accepting this reality, rather than wishing it were different, better equips you to keep them alive.
What matters much more than consistency is finding out how you come back when it is broken.
When chains of consistency are broken, you are not failing. It is called life. Take a deep breath, forgive yourself, accept you may have to backtrack, and then rebuild the chain.
With love, and see you next week,
Jim
Podcast:
The Holiness of One Good Hour
These photos are a sneak preview of the Centenary of Berlin’s S-Bahn, commissioned by Buero Doering. Thank you to Björn and the team for this magnificent festival, which included seeing 1000 people greet the special Jubilee train from the 1920s as if it were The Rolling Stones!
i love this! consistency is something i really struggle with a lot and i too have always been made to believe that if i wasn't consistent in something, it was almost not worth trying at all. lately life has been so busy and work has been so much (in addition to struggling with mental health issues) that i haven't been consistent with any of my creative endeavors, often had no energy left for them. but i picked up my guitar again last week. and while of course i had to relearn things, it felt good, and i've been trying to be more consistent again, but i'm also learning not to beat myself up over it when i don't get around to it or do not have the energy for it :)