Incredible story! I feel like I could write an entire article as a comment, but I just want to share that it lights me the f up to read that. Saying goodbye to perfection and hello to taking risks is pure fuel for my creativity and projects as well. Just jumping into what is here and now and working with the materials and resources that we have is sooo liberating and I agree 100% that it makes me feel alive.
And the authenticity of a „handwritten“ song is much more interesting than all the polished stuff that is out there. Can’t wait to listen to that song now.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights so openly
Dear Carolin, you have poured your own fuel right back into me and filled my tank with this wonderful comment. Nothing moves me more than the exchange - that is the ultimate reward (even if a hit record would be dandy!). Yesterday I had a couple of horrible trollers on my YT. Part of my intention with the album is to be really transparent about the process - including putting out stuff as I write it on YT. To really get into the mess - to kinda, not be afraid to be bad - since I know that you have to go though that to get to the good stuff. Anyway, had a few bad minutes there, but then, almost simultaneously after I deleted the comments, others that came in that were feeding from the video. I regretted that I deleted the comments. Part of the challenge - and peril - of putting stuff out in the arts, is that it is necessarily subject to judgement. On the one hand, thank God not everyone likes all stuff, because that's part of what makes life wonderful - that we find our own stuff out there, the stuff that moves us - and rejecting stuff that doesn't resonate is part of the process. But there's also the more nasty side - which one invites if one does more workshopping in public - which I've decided to do. The reason I regret it is that I think - in the arts - we have to have the courage to feed from the light and from the dark. To be motivated by eternal yay, and eternal nay. In any case, it helps a lot when people feedback the positive too. I am pretty robust, but reading your words was on point, and lifted me. Thank you.
Thank you for your beautiful response and your transparency. I also live for the exchange and believe that nobody is ever alone in the process. It’s part of being an artist, and since I’m a painter and you a musician, I feel like it’s a common thing we all go through sooner or later, no matter the discipline of ours. It’s very very brave to make your albums process so transparent and I think that it’s a good sign, that the trolls and „haters“ are coming at you. It means that you’re onto something powerful. In a world that preaches perfectionism, it’s a rebellious act to show up in your true authentic process. It triggers people who hold themselves hostage in the prison of perfectionism and are not as brave as you are. Like who are you to release imperfect material AND having a good time while doing so?
Don’t be too hard on yourself for deleting the comments. You’re human after all, and wanting to be unaffected by something like this is probably another form of perfectionism creeping in. I see the creative path as a never ending learning journey. Next time you’ll be more aware of how you want to respond or if you want to respond at all.
I actually had a similar experience a few months ago. I left the comments where they were, but after a few weeks I deleted all videos because it felt too vulnerable. It’s okay, we don’t have to overstretch our own capacities all the time.
so interesting to hear about your process and how it differs from before – looking forward to hearing the song! you know i love your music and i'm glad you're still doing it. crossing my fingers you will be able to earn from it again. and hoping that you *will* get to play live again – would love to see you. wishing you all the best in this chapter! i have pre-saved vampires on spotify and apple music and pre-ordered it on itunes to support as best i can!
Oh Jana - there will never be a reward quite like being supported by people - by people that follow your journey. I'm so so blessed for that. Thank forever for accompanying me through thick and thin!
These f… inner demons. After holding me down for two weeks crawling back up to these space where I‘m able to give my normal positive energy to the people who needed them at my work at the doctors front desk I have to say: thank you. Your weekly „go on we can do this“ was and is helpful. Art and music help me to find my freedom and stability. I‘m strong, but helping other people is not always easy. Thats why I inhale the words of you and your kind community. I really liked to write, in german of course😂 But as you said, when we get older it‘s difficult. And I have no inner drive to do it for all these judging people out there. But this is the difference between us. You need to let your art finds the way to us people who are absolutely greatful for it. You have to!!!
Incredible story! I feel like I could write an entire article as a comment, but I just want to share that it lights me the f up to read that. Saying goodbye to perfection and hello to taking risks is pure fuel for my creativity and projects as well. Just jumping into what is here and now and working with the materials and resources that we have is sooo liberating and I agree 100% that it makes me feel alive.
And the authenticity of a „handwritten“ song is much more interesting than all the polished stuff that is out there. Can’t wait to listen to that song now.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights so openly
Dear Carolin, you have poured your own fuel right back into me and filled my tank with this wonderful comment. Nothing moves me more than the exchange - that is the ultimate reward (even if a hit record would be dandy!). Yesterday I had a couple of horrible trollers on my YT. Part of my intention with the album is to be really transparent about the process - including putting out stuff as I write it on YT. To really get into the mess - to kinda, not be afraid to be bad - since I know that you have to go though that to get to the good stuff. Anyway, had a few bad minutes there, but then, almost simultaneously after I deleted the comments, others that came in that were feeding from the video. I regretted that I deleted the comments. Part of the challenge - and peril - of putting stuff out in the arts, is that it is necessarily subject to judgement. On the one hand, thank God not everyone likes all stuff, because that's part of what makes life wonderful - that we find our own stuff out there, the stuff that moves us - and rejecting stuff that doesn't resonate is part of the process. But there's also the more nasty side - which one invites if one does more workshopping in public - which I've decided to do. The reason I regret it is that I think - in the arts - we have to have the courage to feed from the light and from the dark. To be motivated by eternal yay, and eternal nay. In any case, it helps a lot when people feedback the positive too. I am pretty robust, but reading your words was on point, and lifted me. Thank you.
Thank you for your beautiful response and your transparency. I also live for the exchange and believe that nobody is ever alone in the process. It’s part of being an artist, and since I’m a painter and you a musician, I feel like it’s a common thing we all go through sooner or later, no matter the discipline of ours. It’s very very brave to make your albums process so transparent and I think that it’s a good sign, that the trolls and „haters“ are coming at you. It means that you’re onto something powerful. In a world that preaches perfectionism, it’s a rebellious act to show up in your true authentic process. It triggers people who hold themselves hostage in the prison of perfectionism and are not as brave as you are. Like who are you to release imperfect material AND having a good time while doing so?
Don’t be too hard on yourself for deleting the comments. You’re human after all, and wanting to be unaffected by something like this is probably another form of perfectionism creeping in. I see the creative path as a never ending learning journey. Next time you’ll be more aware of how you want to respond or if you want to respond at all.
I actually had a similar experience a few months ago. I left the comments where they were, but after a few weeks I deleted all videos because it felt too vulnerable. It’s okay, we don’t have to overstretch our own capacities all the time.
Thank you again for opening this conversation
so interesting to hear about your process and how it differs from before – looking forward to hearing the song! you know i love your music and i'm glad you're still doing it. crossing my fingers you will be able to earn from it again. and hoping that you *will* get to play live again – would love to see you. wishing you all the best in this chapter! i have pre-saved vampires on spotify and apple music and pre-ordered it on itunes to support as best i can!
Oh Jana - there will never be a reward quite like being supported by people - by people that follow your journey. I'm so so blessed for that. Thank forever for accompanying me through thick and thin!
These f… inner demons. After holding me down for two weeks crawling back up to these space where I‘m able to give my normal positive energy to the people who needed them at my work at the doctors front desk I have to say: thank you. Your weekly „go on we can do this“ was and is helpful. Art and music help me to find my freedom and stability. I‘m strong, but helping other people is not always easy. Thats why I inhale the words of you and your kind community. I really liked to write, in german of course😂 But as you said, when we get older it‘s difficult. And I have no inner drive to do it for all these judging people out there. But this is the difference between us. You need to let your art finds the way to us people who are absolutely greatful for it. You have to!!!
Yes‼️ 🙌🏼 Yes‼️🙌🏼 Yes‼️🙌🏼 & Thank you‼️🙏😍