BOOK 6
Note 1: Latest post beneath the paywall
Note 2: I am typing up from my handwritten journals.
Note 3: I’ve started with Book 6 to get started.
Sunday 25th September 2022
I am tapping into the monster. Whether it is intentional or not, I am unsure. All I know is that it is there. Daily I go into the dark room, and I wrestle it. I am motivated by affirmations, by my need to heal. Perhaps it's these years of work which have led me here; where I can finally face the darkest part in me. The place where all the rejection, the disappointment and abandonment lurks. I stare at it but I am unafraid. That is the difference to before. I avoid nothing. If you can be truly within the pain, it hurts less. I sense there is even the capacity to transcend it. But I am not there yet. I am in the dark, but not desperate. No longer stumbling around, looking for the hatch. It is only through the mind itself you can escape. It is only in the meditation, in the succumbing, in the subsuming; that you come out. Become the dark itself and it no longer holds fear over you. And in the heart of the darkness, only there, will you discover that eternal light. Self-sustaining, infinite, unending.
Monday 26th September
4.45am
In the dark corners of the human mind, conversations with failure.
The question with "failure" is are we willing to outlast it?
It poses the question:
Who are we?
If failure is the point at which we give up, it is just that; failure.
If it is the point we begin, it is victory.
And so in each moment we are see-sawing between defeat and victory.
With it always:
The opportunity to show who we are.
And to begin again.
There is nothing more radical than the act of becoming.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Jim Kroft to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.